The Other Way
Resisting things by trying to fix them or run away from them only makes the pain last longer. Acceptance leads to contentment, contentment enables gratitude, gratitude leads to healing.
Yes, I still miss her,
And I miss him and them;
There are moments when I want to run away,
Back to when things were better
Back to where things were better;
Often the present season,
or a present circumstance,
is wearying and crushing,
making me feel frustrated,
defeated or overwhelmed.
In such moments, I respond as follows:
either I try to fix the situation,
Identify the causes and deal with them;
or I try to flee far away,
to a place where the problem does not exist,
to where it cannot touch me;
In this way, I always respond with a storm of tiring action,
Always striving to change what I cannot change,
before it is time for things to change,
Never truly here.
But there is a third way.
I can accept things as they are:
accept the world as it is,
accept my feelings and struggles as they are.
I can accept them unconditionally,
completely, without any reservation.
Acceptance produces contentment;
and once there is contentment
celebration becomes possible.
I can embrace and celebrate my struggles
with gentleness and kindness
giving them space and time.
I can celebrate my struggles,
and honor them,
as part of life, part of my growth,
Instead of waging war with them,
instead of resisting, fixing and fleeing,
instead of throwing myself into a confusing and tiring
whirlpool of action,
I can trust the process,
accept and embrace,
and trust God who is sovereign over the process.
23rd January, 2024
I have recently been thinking of this exact topic and I find your perspective and thoughts on it quite interesting. In this response, I would like to pose some points for thinking as well as challenge an idea or two.
Firstly, your perspective seems to be often referring to a desire for the past with struggles in the present. What if there is not a past to return to? What if the past is not something to be desired? If discontentment is still prevalent in the present, and there is no desire to return to moments in the past, it is the future one must run to. Supporting the argument that one is running towards a future and not away from the trials of the present/past, do you think your argument still applies? If so, in what ways?
In this poem, you support the idea that contentment is the product of acceptance. The acceptance you describe in your poem reflects a great amount of peace, prosperity, and hope due to accepting things as they are. I do agree with you, but I will challenge this ideology as well by providing my second challenge question. Do you think giving up is also a product of acceptance? If one's circumstances, struggles, feelings, and environments are accepted for how they are, doesn't this prohibit any movement, improvement, or hope for the future? Perhaps contentment could come out of this, which seems to be your main point, but don't you agree that some things should not be accepted? For example, if I accept I can not do something, I may be content with the outcome, but it would also be equivalent to giving up and no improvement would be achieved. To me acceptance also challenges/prohibits productivity and moving forward and improvement. I do agree that acceptance can and does bring peace, with mental health as an example, I think it definitely does (or can), but I think there is a time and place for acceptance, and not all circumstances should be accepted. Some things must be faced, fixed and changed, not accepted.
In regards to resisting, I also agree with what you say that resisting or trying to fix something can make the pain last longer. However, I believe some circumstances must be resisted. More specifically to the process of healing, resistance can be comparable to denial, and to deny or resist the process of healing can increase the pain and time, but this is also one of the natural phases of healing. Resistance however as a slightly more general term can lead to a positive outcome. For example, resisting negativity and bad situations instead of accepting them. It hurts more and for longer, but in the end, it will put you in a better place than if you simply accepted the struggles. Some things must be resisted and some pain must be endured.
Not including the author's perspective in my review, I would say this poem makes very general statements about a topic in which every circumstance is quite different. However, including the author's perspective as well as knowing you, I would say this is very reflective of you and your process and provides unique and thoughtful insight into the writer's process of healing. I very much appreciate your perspective and thoughts. They are quite positive and certainly provide a peaceful way to think of things. To be clear as well, I am not disagreeing with you, merely providing a thoughtful challenge that I hope you can also appreciate. Let me know what you think of my commentary and I am happy to discuss this more. Cheers!